Category: google

My Morning News

Time is going by so slow.  I just looked at the clock and it said 12:12.

I poured myself a cup of coffee, stumbled into the dining room, opened and unlocked the computer (ruby darling is her name.  She has a sticker on back that says ‘I donut care.” ). Nice morning ritual, I think to myself, coffee and reading the news.  Sounds legit.

I fire up good old google news, and scan the headlines.  I baffle once again over the influx of negativity that is the staple of catching up on local and global events.  Definitely a lot of gossip written in very persuasive tone of voice that doesn’t leave a lot of room for reader opinion.

Today’s top story, in my mind, was a particular piece of coverage about the fucking eclipse – a centennial celestial event that seriously everyone has to comment on.  No, I do not care if you got eclipse glasses.  It’s just something to buy and throw away.  This story, however, was about a Donald Trump tweet – another current top story since he took office.  Fucking twitter?  God how little I should care about a silly social media fun-thread bulletin board.  But apparently, this is shaping the world’s view of top politics in this country.

This tweet, though, was beyond comprehension of moral decency, maturity, and unmistakable evidence of any lack of intelligence.  It was a 4 part image of Donald Trump’s colorful face eclipsing a black and white pensive portrait of Barack Obama.  Below in quotes “best eclipse ever.”  This has to be a prank.  This has to be a prank.  Dear heaven, this has to be a prank.

If not, my reaction would be akin to Tina Fey on SNL weekend update about the riots at her alma mater.  If you haven’t seen the skit, do it now….  It’s of one attempting to keep a sense of sanity by stress eating cake.  A farce reaction because keeping a faith in the leadership ability of this country and maintaining the happiness of a fuck ton of people is a completely bananas concept.

Alright, enough news, enough opinions on the world at large.  It’s time to close up the internet shop, and locate the fat cat still sleeping in bed.  Curled up in a furry grey ball of soft adorableness, I give her some love.

Coffee half gone, I stumble to my phone to check awaiting text messages.

Its 12:13.

I have no idea how that is actually possible, to live a whole morning in 1 minute.  Time’s wanderings have changed pace, and I have to slow-up to adapt.

– Marigold

 

Ps- I got a good joke- Hey Donald, here I thought I was the worst speller in the history of writing anything!  Bam, self-esteem is starting to rise.

Piecing Together the Password

You go to log into one of the million websites in which you need a password, and upon demand, you must contrive a password the is long as the Great Wall of China, as complex as Pan’s Labyrinth, as complicated as calculus, as unique as an individual’s voice. I had a entire notebook devoted to password records, but alas I misplaced it.  I would make a spreadsheet, but that is password protected.

A lesson in why password questions are unfair:

Parents wedding anniversary- doesn’t count

First job you were a manager- doesn’t count

A day that has special meaning- doesn’t count

City your father was born- doesn’t count

Best childhood friend- I have two

Favorite radio station- who listens to the radio?

Nickname of my Grandmother- you have got to be kidding

Favorite cuisine- all of them?

A relative’s telephone number- seriously?  that is a stretch.

Day your first child was born- …

Name of your first niece- Finally!  One down, two more to go until I unlock the hidden secrets of something entirely mundane.  Good to know that hacking into my interweb life that is full of meaningless details is harder than breaking into my house.