Tag: google

Mechanical Dreams

I am making up for not completely understanding modern technology (or not understanding at anything all)  with my plan to bypass the actual learning part, and instead becoming a robot- as you know.  I have talk about my magnetic fingers: If Magneto Were an Ordinary Girl, I have discussed how google is replacing the old concept of church and god: The Oracle and Matrix meets Dr. Who

My co-workers are well aware that I am currently working on learning robot language- a communication system based on beeping and booping sounds primarily- I am already at the intermediate level.  I am already well versed in the use of sonar technology in robotic linguistics.  My transformation is going as well as can be expected, given that this is not actually a thing yet- currently rooted at the theoretical stage.

I have to admit, though, that I feel guilty when I am signing up for something online or interacting with a website, and I have to check that box that says “I am not a robot.”  It makes me feel guilty, in a way, that I am betraying my commitment to being replaced with a robotic version of myself, in order to continue to be relevant in the modern society, because I have to tell the website what it wants to hear.


Dichotomy at a Stop Sign

I work in a very strange spot, where old industry meets new technology.  It’s at a crossroad that sounds more like a metaphor than a real spot, an unassuming corner that brings old school Chicago together with business for the new millennia.

You cannot even squeeze a tiny bicycle down Fulton Market street during the early morning to late afternoon.  The street is packed with tall men in long white coats, running to and fro, bringing stacks of brown boxes to idling trucks and muscular forklifts.  The street is littered with men and machines, anxiously filling orders and ready to scurry at a moments notice.  It is a public street, but there is no room for cars, pedestrians, let alone bikes.  Enter at your own risk, you will be the frog leaping, the chicken wondering if it can cross the road.

The meat-packing district of Chicago is an industry staple, and this intersection is where it was born.  This trade formed the identity of this Midwestern metropolis, molded it into the meat-centric, gastro-destination of the nation.

IMG_0145At the end of this meat-packing row, at the corner by a stop sign, sits a small restaurant, serving up Brazilian influenced and locally inspired food.  It’s quaint, it’s unpretentious, it strives to make good and simple food day in and day out.  It is innocently unaware of the power struggle raging on outside, blissfully happy in the crossfire between the old world and the new regime.


After the stop sign, past the meat empire, sits the new google building.  This will be the hub for the technological overlord that will be the new master of Chicagoans, representing the new direction in industry.  These modern offices will shape Chicago in many ways that are just as meaningful as the meat-packing legacy, but oh so completely different. This is not the physical labor of men in uniforms, trucks almost running you over in their physical hurry.  Here, the work is conceptual, all the running around will be done with fingertips instead of fork lifts.

The restaurant is the twilight of these two worlds, and I am caught in the transition.


The Oracle

All things considered, the internet is a modern day god.  It is omnipresent, omniscience, an infallible calculator, a diagnostic genius, a translator for all languages, and an expert keeper of records.  The internet is not opinionated, or susceptible to flattery.  It has pretty much eliminated human error.

I call the internet the Oracle.  The Oracle is wise beyond any singular human, the Oracle’s sovereignty is uncontested.  It should be scary but google is so user friendly.

What to do? For any situation, literally anything (you can google amateur surgery), consult the Oracle.

How to do something?  Step by step instructions for literally anything (you can YouTube how to build a house), consult the Oracle.

When your internet is out?  WWWWWWWTTTTTTFFFFFFFF? It is pandemonium.  How do you work? Nobody writes with a pen anymore.  Pay for anything? Nobody uses checks anymore unless.  Go anywhere?  You need the Oracle for yelp reviews, for directions, to personalized maps with a current location pin, to contact your personal chauffer for the short trip across town (uber).  Having no internet access even for a few hours can be crippling.

How the did our parents live? Remember when you couldn’t even image life without a cell phone? Now try to imagine life without the internet.  What was life like before tiny portable electronics?  Maybe I ask consult the Oracle…