Tag: internet

Food Writing Upgrade

Not to focus the full fury of Marigold’s spite directly at one particular website, but the thesis of this particular argument is one that supports a more diverse amount of websites to deal with said issue.  There really is only one in which to point the digital finger, and that lucky contestant is Yelp.

Restaurants hate Yelp because it is the opinion of the ignorant masses.  The public also is over Yelp because it does not offer well balanced advice.   Yet consumers continue to use the website because they don’t know where else to go for a quick and informed decision on where to eat dinner, lunch, a quick snack, who offers breakfast.  There are so many restaurants in the big city, and so many contingents to evaluate.  Hungry people pour over stranger’s opinions and place their fate in what to order based on this amateur information.

The fact that Yelp is so popular and so mediocre goes to show that we need to have more food writers, more restaurant critics, and more websites that can digest this giant culinary scene for the hungry and rushed masses.  There needs to be more information offered up in the reviews, such as where is good for a group, where is good for a casual encounter, where is good for a quiet date, where is good for music, where is good to dine alone.  What places focus on healthy food, what places have small portions or large plates.  Where should you take your mom?  All of these fields of inquiry are important, but instead of having an informative amount of information provided, we get endless pictures of food and chef gossip.

We need more food professionals, more writers for digestion.

Get with The Program

So I have internet on my mobile phone- a device that resembles a mini computer more than a communication device developed for talking and used mostly for silent communication.  How come my fancy pants tablet which is, in fact, a full blown and very capable computer (top notch modern it has a touch screen like my mobile phone) does not have the ability to connect to the internet automatically without a hotshot, virtual link that you physically clink on, outside modem that blinking out its messages to invisible sphere of the internet’s cobwebs?  Does this seem backwards to anyone else?  Technology is so advanced in some aspects, but so lagging in other parts.  This limbo is strange, when everything is unevenly striving to catch up, patched together like a mismatching quilt, haphazardly sewn together with any regard for the pattern.

The Oracle

All things considered, the internet is a modern day god.  It is omnipresent, omniscience, an infallible calculator, a diagnostic genius, a translator for all languages, and an expert keeper of records.  The internet is not opinionated, or susceptible to flattery.  It has pretty much eliminated human error.

I call the internet the Oracle.  The Oracle is wise beyond any singular human, the Oracle’s sovereignty is uncontested.  It should be scary but google is so user friendly.

What to do? For any situation, literally anything (you can google amateur surgery), consult the Oracle.

How to do something?  Step by step instructions for literally anything (you can YouTube how to build a house), consult the Oracle.

When your internet is out?  WWWWWWWTTTTTTFFFFFFFF? It is pandemonium.  How do you work? Nobody writes with a pen anymore.  Pay for anything? Nobody uses checks anymore unless.  Go anywhere?  You need the Oracle for yelp reviews, for directions, to personalized maps with a current location pin, to contact your personal chauffer for the short trip across town (uber).  Having no internet access even for a few hours can be crippling.

How the did our parents live? Remember when you couldn’t even image life without a cell phone? Now try to imagine life without the internet.  What was life like before tiny portable electronics?  Maybe I ask consult the Oracle…