Category: american diet

Philosphy Statement

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I think that one of the problems with the restaurant industry starts at home.  People have lost the admiration of the chef-driven food and the glamour of dining out because they lost to the knowledge of cooking themselves.

People have become numb to the talents of chef’s and the potential of food itself because of our extreme lack of connection with food.  It starts with a reliance on packaged food, it ends with not knowing how to cut an onion properly.

If we can get people excited about cooking again, we can get the people excited about what the true talents of the curious chef.

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Valentine

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Every single day, I get a valentine from GrubHub. Every day, without me ever replying or even opening a metaphorical window with a simple click, GrubHub send me a love letter via electronic mail.  So many unread and unanswered letters sit in my mailbox, gathering dust.

I don’t read them, I never have.

This unwavering dedication of getting my attention is something I have never experienced until advertising got a hold of me through electronic means. My mailbox at home has never gotten this much attention.  Just a glance is all GrubHub wants. Just a reminder like hey, I’m here and waiting for you.

But this is not the way to my heart.  It is true, that food is the way to the heart.  But even with the promise of someone cooking for me, delivering it right into my hands, having no cleanup, the ability to get virtually anything under the sun, I repeatedly shut it down.

I am hoping the GrubHub will take the subtle hint, but there is worried part of me that thinks this will go on for a long time.  Can you get a restraining order against a website?  How do you break up with a machine?  How do you follow a harassment suit against automated messages?

Although I am a terrible client, GrubHub does not care.  I know that tomorrow, and the next day, and forever on, GrubHub will never forget me.

I will never give my heart to you, Grub Hub. I have given my heart to a refrigerator full of fresh produce, marinating meat, stocked high with leftovers, and crammed full of bubblers.

 

Watered Down

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Dear people of the millennial clan,

Is La Croix going to water down the term used to describe every other brand of sparkling water, just like how Coca-Cola has replaced the words soda and pop, not to mention any competing brand names like Pepsi and RC?  Like how Band-Aid means a sticky bandage? I don’t even know the nonbranded way to ask for a Band-Aid. Is La Croix going to be the new Rollerblade of in-line skating?  Is La Croix going to be the Kleenex of nose tissues?

I am just wondering because I have come to love, truly, calling all sparkling water bubblers.  Can we just decide to say “bubbler” instead of “La Croix?

Yours Truly,

Marigold.

It’s not a Diet

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It’s not.  It is a time of restricted eating.  Diet denotes a period of limiting food to one’s body with the desired intention to lose weight.  A time of restricted eating means that there are many foods that I avoid, but I fill my belly 3 times a day to its happy content with the desired intention of feeling great.

This year’s Paleo Challenge is geared towards reforming my dietary habits for longevity, with the 30 day period as a launching pad for the rest of the year.  It is about getting reacquainted with not having wine every day, following a consistent regime of yoga and exercise, thinking about what goes into my mouth.  I want to be healthier in mind, body, and spirit for a lot longer than a mere 30 day period.

I don’t love giving up bread, cheese, beans, booze, but I do.  It truly makes me feel great, it makes me refocus on the importance of keeping indulgences to a minimum. It is a focused time to cut the crap in order to motivate myself to be a better human in general.

Appetizing

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Why are people eating Tide Pods? You know the dishwasher tabs, a type of soap you put in a machine that washes your dishes so that your hands don’t get wet?

And why do I even have to ask this question?  Throughout history, people consistently say that the world is the most crazy at that certain time, but does this not take the cake?

I did, I fucking googled “why are people eating tide pods?” because I was too embarrassed to actually ask someone.   I am just the type of person you would expect to ask this question: a very un-tech savvy mid-30’s lady who is pretty much consistently in a bathrobe.  Yes, I actually type into the google search box: why are people eating tide pods?  Question mark and all- I just HAD to know.

And you know what I found out?  Nothing.  I still have no idea why people are eating dishwasher tabs.  One explanation is that they vaguely resemble candy.  An explanation which raises even more questions than it proposes to answer, but I do not have time to dissect this new wormhole right now. What I do know is that I have read about it enough times to google the Tide Pod phenomena.

The Mystery will remain until someone takes the time to explain it to me.  But since you didn’t ask, here is my explanation:

“The internet is not making us smarter, and this is the evidence. Direct fucking evidence.  No need to litigate, this question is sufficient proof to win the case of “The Value of the Internet V Reading a Book.”

Smartphones are making us addicted to their bright screens and moving content, but all this fluidity is keeping us distracted enough to not actually care about the content.  We just like to dive into the internet zone- a place where we are entertained in whatever fashion we fancy,  distracted from the world around us where we can judge other people’s bad life decisions, a comforting spot where we can put off our chores and the horrors of having to take care of oneself.  Smartphones with their vivid screens are addictive- the more you dig, the deeper you need to go.

We use our smartphones for everything and all the time.  It has become an extension of the self to such an astonishing degree.  One does not do anything without the phone in hand-eat, poop, socialize.  ne does not leave the house without the phone in the pocket, one does not ride the train without eyes glued to the glowing screen, one does not waste time in any other way besides the comforting hand-hug of that indispensable phone. Many people sleep with them in bed at night.  When was the last time your trusty phone has left your side?  When was the last time you left it out of arm’s reach intentionally?

It’s like why read Shakespeare when there is Netflix?”

-Marigold

Why Eating In America Sucks #6

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I see people eat Cheetos for breakfast on a regular basis.

A bag of cheese flavored fried corn puff things that are neon orange color, that come in a plastic bag with a cartoon of an outlandish cartoon cheetah on the front.

How did this become a thing?  Why?  What lead to this circumstance? Where did the motivation develop to reach for a bag of nutritionally void junk food as your first source of energy for the day?  You realize that you just brushed your teeth, right?  What have we been teaching our children?

Individual Eating

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The fear of sharing food, and the American standard of everyone getting their own plate is strange, yet this weird and selfish eating style is never addressed. Each plate is composed like a miniature meal.  You go to a restaurant and order your meal, it’s meant for you and you only.  You have to ask the person you are dining with for a bite of their plate.  It’s ridiculous.  You should decide what sounds good for the group, and the restaurant brings the food out as it is ready and you dig in.

The fear of sharing food permeates into the shared plate movement found at tapas places, where still we get it wrong.  One large plate is brought out, yet people insist on putting a small portion on a small individual plate before bringing it to their mouths.  Like setting it down momentarily somehow is polite.  It’s like if you eat out of the serving bowl you are a barbarian.  Instead people take tiny spoonful’s and place them on a lonely side plate, insuring that the food gets cold immediately. Really you are ruining the integrity of the dish.  You are two people sitting next to each other, you might be on a date, you probably just had that persons tongue in your mouth 30 minutes ago, but god forbid you eat out of the same bowl.  Horrifying.  What are you so afraid of?  Why we feel the need to create so much distance between ourselves and our food?

Eating is supposed to be unifying, to bring everyone closer together, to share something as a collective, to create a bond.   Instead, we give everyone their own personalized plate that has no direct correlation to any other dishes.  You can go out to a restaurant and everyone is eating something completely different from one another, inspired cuisine from all around the globe.  Everyone pretends to like their plate, but really everyone is envious of what everyone else is eating.  We need to get back to family style dining, where what’s for dinner is not a negotiated globally treaty.

The Proof is in the Butter

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This is an example of how it should be, when you go to the supermarket to pick up provisions, and there is a wall of one ingredient with countless varieties and brands, in this specific case butter, that greets you.  No margarine in sight, just block after block of deliciously diverse pounds of real butter.  Many quality options to choose from, nothing binding you to that one bland brand,  the same one probably used in prison, that watery pale block, nothing likes it’s golden counterpart.

This singular example of butter for sale in a chain grocery store in South Africa demonstrates the lacking variety in American grocery stores.  There are many simple treasures that we deprive ourselves of because of uniformity and mono-corporations.

The Battle of the Apps

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The McDonald’s app is more popular than Spotify.  This statement is not an opinion, it is the truth.  What sort of society do we live in where a fast “food” app can beat out music?  Ok so you need to eat to live, but you need music to be happy.  Plus McDOnalds isn’t really food, it’s a substance that mimics food.  Plus, it is not cheap.  Fast food may have been once upon a time a viable option to save money, but you can get a meal way cheaper via other means.  I can cook a meal for a family for $5.  If you are taking the family out to McDOnalds its going to be over $20.  And you are going to be hungry in 2 hours because it is not filling and not offering your body any sort of nutrition.  I can understand a craving and convenience, but the popularity is astounding.

Spotify is roughly $10 a month for endless streaming of music, style to fit any taste bud, and the best part is that is even suggests music for you.  Does McDonald’s suggest more food options for you?  No, it doesn’t.  It offers sandwiches and things out of the fryer.  Also, you can connect to friends and see what they are listening to for further musical inspiration.  Does McDonald’s provided nearly endless entertainment and strengthen the bonds with your friends?  No, it doesn’t.  It makes you fat and keeps you hungry.  Spotify, however, will at times force you to dance yourself clean, dance yourself into some much needed exercise in these winter months, dance yourself into a great mood when this sunless time gets you down.

Let’s get our priorities straight, you hungry and musically starved people