Tag: wine

The Tendencies of I Am

How many things do I do out of boredom?

I guess if you don’t have to worry about feeding a family, about paying the mortgage, affording the car, making new friends, then you have a lot of time on your hands.  It’s not like I have a lot of time, but when I have any at all,  I get bored.  But boredom is a luxury, and I don’t get it often with all the diversion all abound- there is wine, there is art, there is writing, there is time for reflection.

I used to say that I don’t get bored, but that is a lie.  I am pretty much always bored, that’s why I fill my life with the same tenacity that I fill my work schedule, the same drive that I run my mouth when it is filled with wine.  I always have to be on the go, I lave to always be stalking with my magnetic fingers, with my expressive sentences, with my eclectic thoughts.

This gets me in trouble more than in gets a way to find revenue.  I lacked focus, I lack inspiration, I lack discipline?

I am thankful that I have always been terrible at video games, least my life would be much more stagnant.

Advertisements

Dear Diary, A Teenage Inspired Adult Entry

I need a lot of wine to function, I need a many a taco to operate.

I need a hot passion and a cool demeanor to balance my feung shui soul.

I need your heavy hug and I need your soft skin to calm my stormy weather.

Do porcupines cuddle? Is softness just an abstract?  They say that you like the way a person smells when you like them personally. Do you like the way someone feels when you like them?

I want to be excited but I am afraid.  Afraid of failure, afraid of waking up early, afraid of making ugly art, afraid of being bland, afraid of being too bold.  I am afraid of making spelling mistakes, I am afraid that my outfit is too eccentric, I am afraid that I have nothing to say. I am afraid of running out of ideas, I am afraid that my concepts are crumbling.  I am afraid of not prioritizing properly, I am afraid of butterfingers.

I want to feel excited and pumped and so sure that I am making a winner.  Something super cool.  Something that people will get excited about.  Something sweet, but not too sweet that you miss the subtly involved in creating superb experience.

Today I tremble.  Tomorrow I hope to be bravely bold and smoothly savvy.