Category: writing and blogging

Vision and Dependence

I loose like everything.  I am a loser, certainly.  The first thing to do, is to look for said lost item.  You use your set of sparkling irises to look, scanning every room, trying to locate your lost set of keys or the misplaced cellular phone.  Remember when the phone used to be connected to the wall, and losing your phone was not an issue?  I bet if you asked people nowadays, they would say that losing or breaking their phone is high on the stress list.

When you can’t find the lost item with you eyes, the next step is more cognitive.  You retrace your movements, remember your motions, and deduce the most logical spot where you placed the item.  If these two methods fail, you are screwed.  There is no back-up plan, there is no gravity in your fingertips that will attract the lost thing to you.  Finding something lost is nothing about a feeling, or desire, its all about the eyes.

If you can’t see it, its gone.  Just like that.  We rely so heavily on this visual tool, its amazing that more things do not get lost.  I wish we had a back-up plan for physical organization that transcends this one way of solving the riddle.

Don’t tell me to get a key hook, that does not work.  Organizing is very important, but sometimes the system fails.  And when it does, you wish that phones were still connected to the wall, the front door key is under the welcome mat. Because this is your only salvation, we have not evolved to have another plan for finding lost items which cannot speak for themselves.  I bet Google will figure this out for us…?  He is a creep like that and cannot wait to read your mind.

The Magnetic Eye

It is as if eyes want to meet you in the street.  Eyes know when another set of eyes are pondering upon them.  It is not a thought process, it is a feeling, a burning intuition that every person has. It’s not a girl thing, or a cultural thing, it’s a human thing.  It is a chemistry thing.  This pull has nothing to do with the thought process, it is a strong innate reaction.

Have you ever tried staring at a person and have them not look up immediately?  Unless they are very focused, in which it might take a full minute for them to realize, normally you are not even trying to look at a person before their lids up open and those irises are pointed directly into yours.

For example, you are on the train and you are trying to glance out the window, but you happen to notice anything, just anything, about the line of people directly across from you.  Just about every damn time, they look back at you for that one instance.  They know that you are not looking at them in particular, but if the gaze goes in that direction, the other set of eye balls answer right back.

There are magnets in the irises, a deep gravity in that mysterious white background of the diamond iris lens that pulls other eye balls into your depth of vision.

I don’t watch movies either

Seriously like never.  For example: I flew to India from Chicago and back, and got delayed by 6 hours on the way there.  I was on an airplane for 47 hours total for the trip.  I managed to watch 1 movie and 1 stand up comedy act (The Grand Budapest Hotel and Hannibal Burgess) over the grueling 47 hour journey.  That is how dedicated I am to avoiding movies.

I don’t have the patience. I get too bored.

Most of the time is it too unbelievable. Seriously though, get a grip and make your story line mildly believable.  Or else I will be drunk, and miss the plot line because I have to pee so often.

Why does there always have to be a love story? Always.  Seriously I will like a movie more even if it sucks royally if there is no fucking fairy tale fall in love non imaginatation story arch.  But all shitty movies, even the few good one, have a love story.  A Hollywood Perfect Woman with great boobs falls for a  maybe? hot man.  He will NEVER take his shirt off.   I have seen one male butt in Hollywood. I love boobs like everyone else but I also love the male nipples.  Why you gotta hold out Hollywood?  Why you got to be so cold?

Everybody has to be good looking all the time.. nobody can be just like normal.  God forbid undesirable.  Ugly is a thing that is left for villains, that’s it.  It is so unrealistic I can’t do it.  Unless it is complete fantasy like aliens, that’s fine.

Adjective Addict

I love adjectives, too much.  Somebody stop me.  Seriously.  I have a problem with over description.  I describe the descriptors more than I describe the narration of the story.  It is a corn maze of details that easily lead the reader away from the main point, and into a labyrinth of imagery.

Is it getting in the way too much?  All this cluster fuck of descriptions?  Is my meaning getting lost in my choked up amount of modifiers, prepositions, determiners, qualifiers, parenthesis?  Too many attributive, predicative, and nominal examples of adjective use in my stories? Is it like that thrift store on half off day?  It is too much to handle?

I can’t help it, my adjective addition problem.  I love trivial details…. I love trivial details on people’s lives.  Tell me a story.  A story about nothing. Or that is about something.  It’s not mundane, by any means. It is the description. It is  what happened.  It is an entertaining list of adjectives and I want to hear it.

The Writer’s Conundrum

I am the worlds worst speller.  I joke that the only word I know how to spell is my first name.  (Although my first name is 8 letters long, it did take me a while to master it in elementary school.)  I would loose at the word loose in a spelling bee.  At first I said thank the Good God for spell check.  Now I say that the Good God for Google.

It is pathetic, my inability to spell.  Not only am I a full-fledged adult who learned cursive in grade school, I  did not have the use of computers throughout high school (everything was hand written, can you imagine!), I went on major in English in college.  I have a BA from a top ten university in a field of study in which I lack a key concept.

The extent to how much spelling affects my life is embarrassingly amazing. My personal conundrum is far beyond my power to control it.  I construct sentences around the spelling of words.  I am writer who cannot spell, I am a poet who must choose words wisely.

There is a good chance that I am dyslexic.  A very good chance that I am very dyslexic.  I read words starting with the end and then ending with the beginning. Then I have to remember to flip it in my head before I read that word. It gets exhausting.  When I write, I have to concentrate on every word to make sure that is comes out properly.  The only way I know how to spell anything is via memorization.  The order, the proper placement of algorithm of letters, are lined up in my memory stacks.

I am hoping that writing more will help me with spelling, and give my the confidence to not let the written word hold me back.  Most of the time it is the hesitation that holds me back.  Marigold is to help me cool my sensitivity and memorize more word blueprints.

Diamond Eyes and the Expressive Hands

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul.  A diamond lens, eyes are each beautiful, mysterious, captivating, and lustrous. The world around is perceived and filtered through this kaleidoscope pattern, giving each person a unique point of view, interpretation of the situation, a foundation on which to form theories.

I, however, leave the sentimentality of the ascetic of the eye at a gesture.  The lens of the eye acts as a concept, it filters the world, it’s a perception.  It’s a very romantic implication, a poetic deduction of the individuality and beauty of that aperture to one’s mind.  The beauty of the eye is too abstract to be the window to the soul.  Soul is found in physical expression and how we impact our surrounding reality.  Its more tangible then that special sparkle in one’s eye.

I think that the hands are the window to the soul.  Everything that I think, all my ideas, intentions, inspirations, and influences are expressed through my hands.  The eyes can only look.  They are merely a lens.  Hands, however, turn the abstract into the physical, they turn thoughts into creations, they turn ideas into a usable product.  My hand create food, my hands create writing, my hands create art, my hands create love.

Your hands can change the world, and your diamond eyes can inspire it.