Dear Sir/Ma’am,

I must say, dress so well from head to tippy toe, you look very dashing in your designer style, with your brand new clothes, perfectly fitting attire.  From those sleek leather brown shoes to that subtly patterned grey tie that matches perfectly with a maroon button up shirt that is delicately textured and the dark gray and black suit with its tightly woven fabric, adorned with a perfectly fitting belt, manicured hands, trendy socks from the department store, always freshly trimmed haircut, dapper facial hair, musky cologne.

You are so put together, so apparently success, so outwardly powerful, clearly manager of both work and home, a statuesque icon of modern adulthood and sex appeal.

You take care of your life, health, money, I am sure even your yard so well.  I bet your shower curtain doesn’t even have mold growing on the inside hem.

I don’t understand with all this foresight, planning, and education that you eat that junk that passes as food for lunch.  How can you put that into your body as an adequate food supply for your brain power and muscle stamina?

You act like you treat yourself with so much respect, but you are eating food type substances that contains no nutritional value, has never even once been alive considering how much processing it has undergone, food where green is saved for food coloring, where everything is pre cooked, prepackaged, prearranged to fit everyone’s love for salt and stopping there.  How, Sir/Ma’am, how long can you put up with charade of eating?  Eat something that resembles something living.  Eat a lot of plants and vegetables.  Yes, that means you need to use a knife.  Sharp objects are fun to play with, that is a promise.