Abstract:

Ok so as it turns out, the “pink out” that the NFL supports to raise money for breast cancer (everyone wears pink, therefore they buy pink things, and those profits cure cancer) is not actually raising money that is helping boobs win the cancer battle.  Where the money goes is towards community awareness.  Awareness, as you are aware, does not solve problems.  Research, science, healthy eating, a non sedentary life style, and open mindedness to finding a solution are the solution.

Objective:

Concerning the NLF’s largely popular campaign “Pink Out” during the month of October and the accusation that this program is not actually doing anything productive to cure cancer found in the breast tissue of women.

1. I am not surprised and neither should you be.
2. The reason why it is so popular is because football is intrinsically boring and anything that might add excitement to this game of waiting is welcomed with pom pom enthusiastic arms.
3. This proves that there exists a potential audience for females, and there is a lot of money to be made.  Football is geared to men and woman who want to impress men or at least have a common interest.  But it is not intrinsically geared towards women.

All advertisers and business know that the women spend money.  So here are Marigold’s ideas on how to make football more approachable to women, therefore at least doubling the spectator volume which in turn brings in more revenue, while simultaneously making this all-American sport more entertaining.

Ready?

Uniforms.  Change the ugly, hideous, beyond bland and never changing uniforms to something that, I don’t know, actually make the athletes look sexy? Not like a light sack of blubbery garbage? They are fully covered in spandex, and is it horrifying.  HORRIFYING.  God not only do you have to wait on average 20 minutes for anything to actually happen, you actually have to watch overweight men in KHAKI skin colored spandex lean over with their ass in high definition.  Vogue won’t even put the hottest woman with the derriere of the year in flesh colored tights.  Yet, here, we have a team of men wearing the most deplorable outfit ever constructed.  Please, give me something not only repulsive, but sexy.  There are very good looking, athletic men, running around, sweating and yelling and dancing, please let’s focus on sexifying that man!  Let us focus on fashion and style and trend in this untouched worlds of sports. Show him up close with fake balls even.  Stuff that junk!  Oh don’t be so stuffy, women do it all the time with their lips and their boobs, with the high heals impossible to walk in shoes and the make-up.  We put on a good show and have a good time doing it, let’s see those beautiful and tough men out on a real show for everyone.

Let’s turn the tables and make money.

Oh, still concerned about raising money for breast cancer? Skip the pink shirt, bandana, and banner and donate money to cancer research.